I remember the day very clearly...

I had slept in and skipped my class, npr was blaring on my alarm before I had shut it off.
My brother is coming home today I thought. All of us in the same house again.

I had turned on the TV and looked at what I had thought to be the middle east, but strangely it looked like new york...

I took a shower and then my dad had called me...

"You're brother is not at the airport, they closed the whole thing off, something happened"
-"what?"
"find mom"
-"what's going on?"
"a plane attacked new york, and another one hit the pentagon"
-"WHAT?"
"I'll be home soon"

It was New York I had seen...
calls upon calls were made checking up on my family on the east coast...
"We were under attack, this is it" , I had thought to myself, but the main thought remained to be wondering where my brother was at, he is supposed to fly home today.

"Oh my God, is he alive?", I had no clue and this scared the hell out of me.

Like you, I watched people plunge to their deaths, and my own compassion for them was overshadowed by not knowing where my brother was.

I get a call and he is in Houston, his plane landed in houston of all places, 14 hours away.
My friend Ryland got in the car and was on his way to come pick him up.

Like many, fear was running through our household...

we are under attack, and we didn't know how many we had lost...

"what about my family?"

I remember finally seeing my brother at 2 a.m. the next day after driving all day from houston and I was brought with a bittersweet relief.

I was scared and wanted answers, but we now entered into a different world.

I remember driving the next night, and jennifer knapp's song "faithful to me" was on the stereo, and the part of the song where she said:
all the pennies I've wasted in my wishing well, I have thrown like stones to the sea...

-that finally broke me, and I had to pull over. I couldn't take it anymore. thousands died, for what? I just sat there in my car, totally broken down and crying for all of those people.


It's still a soft spot with me because the scars are still there, to know that such a horrible thing had happened. I know that horrible things happen in the world quite often, but when it hits closer, it's more personal because it tugs on closer relation to you, and till this day, I am horrified by the events that had taken place.

Our world had changed in a very drastic way.

I wonder if our country will ever know peace again, and if so, at what cost?